


cupid’s aro

by Anonymous



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Other, Queerplatonic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 05:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18230552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dan’s aro and still figuring himself - and his feelings about Phil - out. Short and sweet exploration of my feelings about being aro.





	cupid’s aro

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of sleeping, so I apologize if it’s not the best. I just wanted to get an aro fic out, and DnP are just so perfect as a QPR. 
> 
> Also, I am very behind on the Sims series, so I made all of that part up.

The flat is silent, the clock reads 3:00am, and Dan is awake. This isn’t new or anything, but it’s been a long time since this particular feeling was the thing keeping him awake. 

 

But allthetests.com is open on his computer again, a familiar place that he used to figure out that he was ace, except now his search has returned results for “am i aromantic?” It’s not necessarily a new question - this is just the first time Dan’s let it exist somewhere outside of his subconscious. 

 

He glances at the last couple of quizzes that he hasn’t taken yet and sighs. They look about as helpful as the other ones have been so far, which is to say not very helpful at all. Dan was kind of expecting that, but it doesn’t lessen the tight anxiety in his chest at all. 

 

“Okay, I guess I’ll try Tumblr,” he mutters, opening a new tab and logging in. He looks around at some aro advice blogs for about an hour before finally falling asleep with a new label that’s starting to seem more and more accurate clutched in his mind. 

 

-

 

The flat is mostly quiet, the clock reads 9:00am, and Dan’s watching Phil watch anime from across the breakfast table. Phil’s eating cereal without taking his eyes off of the screen surprisingly successfully; it’s honestly pretty impressive. 

 

Dan sighs and digs his spoon into his own bowl, forcing himself to stop staring at Phil. He’s just … well, there’s a lot going through his head, because Dan’s pretty sure he’s aromantic, but he has no idea what that means for the tiny crush he thinks he’s been harboring for years. 

 

Phil’s beautiful - there’s no doubt about that, and Dan kind of wants to hold his hand a _lot_. But that’s pretty much where it ends, and Dan has absolutely no idea what that means. Great. 

 

The credits of the anime episode start rolling, and Phil turns towards Dan. “Do you want to watch the next episode or do you want to get started filming the next Sims video?”

 

“Uh… Sims,” Dan says, because hopefully that will mean less time to think about all of this. 

 

It doesn’t. Thirty minutes later, he and Phil are set up in front of the computer and loading up The Sims, the camera already rolling. 

 

“Hello, Dan and Phil Games, uh, lovebirds!” Phil says, waving at the camera. 

 

Dan snorts. “Where did that come from?”

 

“Because it’s almost Valentine’s Day, you spork,” Phil laughs. “And I was thinking that maybe we could focus on Dab and Evan today to get them ready for the special day!”

 

“Sounds good,” Dan says, even though it really _doesn’t_. He doesn’t have anything against romance, really, but right now it’s a reminder of the fact that it’s something he’ll probably never get to have. “Let’s see how badly we can fuck this up!”

 

-

 

The flat is quiet, the clock reads 11:00pm, and Dan is sleepy. He and Phil are on the couch, idly scrolling on their laptops and showing each other the occasional meme. It’s nice, it’s their routine, but Dan can’t relax with the way his mind is whirring. He’s been doing more research throughout the past couple of weeks and has learned about squishes and QPRs and everything else that now comes to mind when he meets Phil’s eyes. 

 

A queerplatonic relationship with Phil sounds … well, perfect, honestly. It’s pretty obvious to Dan at least that they’re going to be together, DanandPhil, for probably the rest of time. And while Dan doesn’t want marriage or candlelit dinners or sex or roses, he kind of really wants hugs and holding hands and an acknowledgment that there is something unbreakable between them. But what if Phil doesn’t want that? What if Phil just wants to date him? Or what if Phil doesn’t want to be anything but friends with Dan? 

 

Dan’s laptop screen goes to sleep, leaving Dan staring blankly at himself in the black pseudo-mirror. He knows that there’s one way to find out what Phil wants. He also knows that even imagining himself starting that conversation is absolutely terrifying. 

 

He sighs, louder than intended, and pushes his laptop away from himself slightly, overwhelmed. 

 

“Dan? You okay?”

 

“Uh - yeah, yeah. Just tired.” Dan shakes his head a little in an attempt to dispel his thoughts, and reaches to pull his laptop close again. 

 

And honestly, Dan’s not entirely sure what happens next. His laptop shifts and starts to fall, and Phil catches it and wakes the screen up and the aromantic flag and a post about QPRs dominate the screen and well, shit. 

 

“Oh, shit, sorry, let me just -“ Dan reaches for his laptop quickly, hoping to God that Phil hasn’t been able to read anything, but Phil doesn’t even react. Instead, he’s just staring at the screen, eyes wide with something Dan can’t read for the first time in years. “Uh, Phil?”

 

It takes a moment, but eventually Phil turns to Dan, eyes wide. “You’re aro?”

 

“Uh. Fuck. I mean, I think I might be? I probably am, it’s complicated, I - shit. Fuck. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to -“

 

“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Phil says quickly, and the genuine tone of his voice calms Dan’s anxiety just a bit. “Um. I am, too, actually. So. Surprise?”

 

Dan is pretty sure his brain short-circuits at that. “Wait, what?”

 

“I’m aro,” Phil says. “And, um. I know this might be kinda fast and maybe I’m just projecting and tell me to fuck off if I need to, but uh, do you know what a queerplatonic rel-“

 

Dan’s tackling him in the biggest possible hug before he can even finish his sentence. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! :)


End file.
